Like many people, you may have experienced frustration when you work with or try to influence another. These difficulties often arise because every person brings a unique perspective or point of view.
Our unique view of the world has been shaped by our upbringing, our life experiences, behaviors we have been rewarded for– and those that have gotten us into trouble. Over time we come to embrace our view and begin to assume that all others are looking at situations from the same vantage point.
This view shapes our priorities, determined our approach, and impacted our values or what we deem as important when going about our day.
This unique perspective has served us well and gives us consistency when we deal with people and situations. However it does present one potential challenge …When collaborating with others, it is these differing views and unique perspectives that lead to misunderstanding, frustration, and conflict.
Although I have been teaching this principle for many years, I once again had a moment of inspiration through my interaction with my daughters. Last week as we prepared ourselves for the day, I found myself incessantly reminding my girls of the time and how many minutes remained until the school bell would ring. The more I preached about the time and the consequences of being late, the greater the resistance my daughters had to getting ready. Every day, Monday through Friday, we repeated our dance — me imparting my sense of urgency and desire to move quickly and them with their slow, methodical approach to get ready. I thought,
“what’s the matter with them?”
“why don’t they understand what is important?”
“what don’t they understand about being late?”
It wasn’t until after dropping them off at school on Friday, while at a coaching meeting, that I had an “ah-ha” moment. My client and I were discussing behavioral styles and the impact they can have on relationships, when I realized that the frustration I had with my daughters was exactly what we were discussing.
Unique individuals who approach the same situation, share the same goals — yet, each with a different perspective on how to move a task forward.
Although we achieved our goal of getting to school on time all week, it was done with anger, resentment, and frustration. I now recognize that my focus on getting things done was in conflict with their desire to get it done right. Next time I will look at the situation through my children’s eyes — appeal to their need for structure, harmony and thoroughness.
I will ask myself “What are their priorities?”, “What information do they need to make a decision?”, “What is most important to them?” I will speak their language and in effect achieve the desired results with greater ease.
As we develop a stronger understanding of our own view of the world, we can use this self-awareness to capitalize on our strengths while appreciating those who come from a different perspective.
Which style best depicts your view of the world:
DATA-DRIVEN
Highly organized and logical in their work approach, these individuals collect a great deal of data and thoroughly analyze it before making a decision. These individuals take great pride in their systematic approach to problems and try to objectively assess the situation. When communicating with someone from this perspective it is important to present ideas in a logical and well-organized manner. Ensure that you have all of your facts and figures in order before presenting them with your proposed idea, for it is highly unlikely that they will feel comfortable making a decision without that information.
RELATIONSHIP-DRIVEN
These individuals focus on social and emotional needs of others. It is important for these individuals to promote harmony and maintain quality working relationships. They are willing to compromise to meet others needs and value others perspectives. when communicating with these individuals, evaluate how others will react to a decision before proposing it. Keep in mind that facts and figures are not a primary concern. When making a decision, someone with this primary focus is most interested in developing a solution that is acceptable to all those involved.
QUALITY-DRIVEN
Idealists that try to do their best, behave with integrity, and meet the highest standards of performance are often indicators that you are working with someone of this style. These individuals like to see others supporting the team, working diligently, and always striving to reach new levels of performance. Although they have high expectations of others, they are also willing to personally adhere to the same standards. When influencing an individual with this focus, it is important to honor commitments, adhere to the rules, and demonstrate respect for their standards of excellence.
ACTION-DRIVEN
Those who are fast-acting, competitive, and self-reliant fall into this style. Quick decision makers who act more on gut instincts rather than careful consideration and analysis of the facts. They seek out challenges and enjoy wrestling with a tough problem. When communicating with others, individuals with this style tend to be direct and often become frustrated with lengthy interactions. When working with someone of this style, it is important to get to the bottom line, demonstrate competence, acknowledge their sense of urgency, and provide resources to help them reach their goals.
As you leave this blog, consider this… How does your style support your ability to influence and in what relationships may you want to adjust your approach?
To learn more about behavioral styles and how this information can be used to enhance your leadership and team’s cohesiveness, contact Jill for your complimentary Deep Dive Session Today!
