Yesterday as I was walking my 8 year old daughter to school she asked, “which do you like better the silly me or the regular me?”  What an interesting and insightful question to even recognize that there are various aspects to an individual.  Although as her mom I had to wonder what she wanted the answer to be, what would satisfy her need for acceptance.  So I asked her “what side do you like best?”  She immediately responded “my silly side!” with great pride.  I agreed but took it further and shared “I actually love all sides of you, including your studious side, your funny side, your athletic side, your musical side, your artistic side, your happy side, and even your sad side…” realizing I had her attention and the opportunity to teach her a powerful life long skill… I continued “…what is most important is that your recognize that you have many sides, love them all, and most importantly recognize when it’s most appropriate to let each one out.”  Since we were walking to school I decided to make this message relevant and shared “when you are in class it’s not really appropriate to just let out your silly side, or when you’re playing with a friend they most likely won’t want you to only be serious.”  Simply, my message to her was to embrace all of her amazing, wonderful qualities so that she be the best version of herself in any given situation.

I didn’t think much about our conversation until later that day when I realized that what my daughter and I were talking about was one of the most powerful leadership skills we can develop; the ability to recognize all of our attributes and identify how they can help us excel. We want to capitalize on them when appropriate, yet not take any single behavior too far, or what what you might call, excess.  I’m sure you have a behavior or two that has allowed you to get to where you are today.  Perhaps it is your drive and determination, for others it may be your attention to detail, or maybe it’s just your ability to get along with others.  No doubt those are all powerful skills.  Yet if we take any one of those too far or become overly reliant on them those become the blocks that limit us in our leadership effectiveness.  Let’s take drive and determination, as I’m sure that is what has led many of you to where you are today.  If you are not careful and overuse that strength in a leadership role, you may risk coming off as pushy, ruthless, and controlling. Conversely if you have achieved great success through getting along with others, if overused it can be perceived as easily influenced, indecisive, and lacking direction.  There is a fine dance between capitalizing on strengths without overly relying in our comfort zone.

As we move into a new year, I encourage you to take a few moments to reflect on your unique attributes, all of those qualities that make you stand out and define the essence of who you are.   Embrace every single one of them as they have surely served you well at one point or another.  Determine those qualities that will help you excel, those that you will want to capitalize on as you move forward.  Alternatively, identify if there is a behavior that is no longer supporting your mission, or perhaps even blocking your success, as those are the ones that you will want to modify.
Join me in making 2014 a year of conscious and deliberate behavioral choices to maximize our performance and inspire the success of others.